Woman Asks Husband To Cover All Of Her Financial Loss When Caring For Their Baby, He's Shocked And Lost (2024)

Woman Asks Husband To Cover All Of Her Financial Loss When Caring For Their Baby, He's Shocked And Lost (1)

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Expecting a baby is no easy task. There is a crazy amount of medical bills, changes to your body, as well as lifestyle and mental health. On top of that, caring for a whole new human being, however rewarding this experience may be for both parents, requires some sacrifices. And, of course, you want your partner to be there with you, taking on an equal share of the year-long burden.

When a possibly expecting woman decided to propose a fully-baked financial plan to her husband, getting down to the brass tacks of pregnancy costs, it naturally left him baffled. After all, celebrating this little miracle by negotiating finances isn’t the most romantic way of doing things. However, considering how taxing this whole period can be for soon-to-be mothers, taking extra precautions shouldn’t be all that surprising; on the contrary — it should be admired.

Not sure what should be an appropriate reaction to the wife’s extra-detailed proposition, the husband turned to the internet to seek the perspective of others.

Becoming a mother is no walk in the park — there are physical and emotional transformations, let alone the excessive amount of medical bills

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By now, it’s no secret that the second richest nation in the world, America, has one of the worst maternity leave deals — four paid weeks, while 185 countries provide new mothers with 29 paid weeks on average. So, besides having to worry about the medical bills, spending a big chunk of your savings on baby clothing, cribs, nappies and whatnot — there’s also the anxiety that comes with not knowing how to navigate the financial labyrinth that pregnancy presents.

This is the worry that more than 50% of soon-to-be mothers share. The worst part: financial anxiety can also cause indirect harm to the baby, as it increases the odds of bringing a child with a low birth-weight, which can cause some serious health issues in the long run.

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To find out how parents can reduce financial anxiety before bringing their little bundle of joy into the world, Bored Panda has reached out to Dee Lee, the founder of Harvard Financial Educators. She says the most common mistake an expecting parent makes has an effect on their IRAs or 401k plans. “They stop saving for their retirement,” Lee told us. Although the recently established SECURE Act allows parents in the US to withdraw up to $5,000 out of their retirement funds following the birth of a child without there being any financial penalty, Dee thinks there are better ways to prepare for parenthood without sacrificing the financial stability of your future-self.

And it shouldn’t be surprising why some soon-to-be mothers expect to split the load equally with their partners

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Being a mother herself, Dee knows very well how financially challenging being a parent of a newborn is. According to her, in order to navigate this sleepless and expensive chapter of your life without breaking into million little pieces, it’s important to change your spending habits. “Give up the [regular] stop to get coffee in the morning and take public transportation. Small things can make a difference,” Lee suggested.

Among her many recommendations, Dee highlights the importance of having a support system that lies on the shoulders of your friends and family. She then gave a perfect example of what she means by that: “[Once] I traded babysitting with a friend — she worked days and I worked 3 to 11 at a hospital. Childcare solved!” As we argued in our post about babysitting, nowadays it’s a very costly affair. Using your friend or a relative as a babysitter can save that extra money for your child’s college funds. Plus, you’ll know your little munchkin is in good hands.

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Finally, there are the hand-me-downs. According to Dee, parents should start looking at second-hand shops and yard sales if they want to save some money. “Look for friends willing to give you their old stuff. A baby doesn’t know if their clothes are from a thrift shop,” she explained. After all, this is the way Dee helped her siblings when the time was right. “I had my children first, so the baby crib and [other] furniture I passed down to the families of my siblings.”

So before you start losing your hair over finances or drain your retirement funds, look around you first — there’ll be many sleep-deprived couples in the same situation. And if there’s one thing we know about stressful situations — there isn’t a better incentive to share and support one another.

People couldn’t believe how carefree and immature the author is

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Woman Asks Husband To Cover All Of Her Financial Loss When Caring For Their Baby, He's Shocked And Lost (2024)

FAQs

When your wife stops loving you? ›

If despite the honest conversations and professional counseling, your wife's love is gone, it might be time to move on. At this point, your happiness and welfare should take priority. Leaning on friends and family, as well as seeing a therapist, can help with managing the painful transition.

How do you tell your wife not to leave? ›

Your job is not to “convince” your wife to stay; that doesn't work. You can give her a good incentive to stay, you can challenge her and state how you feel, but you can't make her choose something she doesn't already want.

What is the walkaway wife syndrome? ›

There's a term for this: walkaway wife syndrome. This term is sometimes used to describe instances where a spouse – often the wife – has felt alone, neglected, and resentful in a deteriorating marriage and decides it's time to end it.

What is stonewalling in relationships? ›

Stonewalling involves refusing to communicate with another person and withdrawing from the conversation to create distance between the individual and their partner. Intentionally shutting down during an argument, also known as the silent treatment, can be hurtful, frustrating, and harmful to the relationship.

What is the miserable husband syndrome? ›

Miserable Husband Syndrome or Irritable Male Syndrome is when a man experiences hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger due to the decrease in testosterone caused by aging (andropause), certain medications, or abnormally-high levels of stress.

What is the sudden divorce syndrome? ›

Sudden Divorce Syndrome often blindsides spouses who are unaware of the underlying discontent brewing for years before the separation, resulting in profound emotional distress.

What not to do when a spouse asks for divorce? ›

Begging: Pleading with, pursuing, or pressuring your spouse can have the opposite effect and turn them off. Buying: Buying gifts, flowers, and cards to make up for or apologize for your actions that prompted your spouse to want a divorce probably won't resolve the real issues.

Is it too late to save my marriage? ›

If you're worried that it's too late to save your marriage—it's not, especially if you and your spouse are both willing to do what it takes to save a marriage. However, you don't even need both parties to be working to save the marriage in order to come back from the brink of divorce.

What to do when your marriage is over but you can't leave? ›

You may feel you can't leave an unhappy marriage for a variety of reasons, but it doesn't mean you have to be stuck. Individual or marriage counseling with a qualified therapist can help you work towards a healthier balanced life – and just maybe bring happiness back to your marriage.

When to let your husband go? ›

If you feel anxious, sad or angry more often than you feel happy and positive, it may be time to let your relationship go. You deserve (and likely will) find a relationship you're happy in, so don't waste your time and well-being in relationships that often make you feel bad.

What to do when wife leaves with child? ›

If you just learned that your spouse plans to leave with your children, reach out to a divorce and child custody lawyer right away. You will likely want to file a request for custody with the court.

Does a walkaway wife ever come back? ›

Yes, she might make a return in your life if you are a changed man and you convince her of your changed personality. She won't haste into it, and you should be able to appreciate how difficult it is for her to make a comeback.

What to do when your wife shuts you out? ›

What to do when someone you love shuts down
  1. take a break from, or “table” the conversation.
  2. write down your thoughts and feelings to revisit later.
  3. stay calm.
  4. don't retaliate.
  5. don't throw an adult temper tantrum.
  6. do something self-soothing.
  7. consider professional intervention.
Sep 2, 2021

Can your wife fall back in love with you again? ›

Therapists often see couples facing a very real dilemma: After years and years together, one or both partners no longer feel as “in love” as they were before. Is it possible to fall back in love? Absolutely, but it takes time and effort from both spouses.

When should I let go of my wife? ›

A toxic relationship or living with an abusive spouse is usually one of the main reasons for giving up on the marriage. Even if there is no rage, one or both partners may begin to lose respect for the relationship and their spouse, which might mean the end.

Do walk away wives ever return? ›

Do walkaway wives ever return? Although it doesn't happen frequently, a walkaway wife may return. The reasons for this vary widely.

What to do if you're not in love with your wife anymore? ›

I don't think I love my wife anymore: what to do
  1. Start by getting to the crux of the issue. ...
  2. Ask yourself follow up questions and write your answers down over time. ...
  3. Prepare to have an honest conversation with your wife. ...
  4. Have “the talk” and listen as much as you speak. ...
  5. Take some time to debrief.

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